Relationship expert: Needing space is not a bad thing
18 Apr The longer someone's with a toxic person, the harder it can be to recognize the mistreatment and leave the relationship — which is why you should speak up immediately. "As soon as you have a clear indication that the relationship is toxic, say something," Natalie Moore, M.A., psychotherapist and owner of. 13 May It's hard to stand by when your friend is in an unhealthy relationship, yet she doesn't seem to be doing anything to fix it or end it. We care about our friends and their happiness, which is why it is so difficult to watch them be with someone they c. 23 May As a secondhand observer, I can say toxic relationships are mentally exhausting, not just for the person in the relationship, but for everyone else . There's the classic case of seeing others engaging in bad (but compelling) acts, like smoking or drinking and being forced by them to join in, but no one really.
Even the brightest and nicest people can be involved in a relationship that sucks them dry. The wounds may not be visible but you know that whatever is going on isn't healthy. I want to separate "bad" relationships from outright abusive ones. That is a different situation altogether.
My focus in this article is relationships that exist in a gray area, but are still detrimental. Regardless of the cause, your main concern is that someone you love is not being respected or appreciated. It's painful to see anyone you care for in a relationship that seems to have a negative effect on them.
You want to say something, anything. Unfortunately, the person you care about may not be ready to hear what you have to say, and it's hard to know if you'll regret saying something, or if you'll regret saying nothing. Relationships are a complex interplay of deeper dynamics too extensive to discuss, but let's touch on some basic points that can help you navigate this delicate situation without alienating your loved one when they need you most.
Understand and acknowledge that we all are imperfect human beings.
I expected to feel a deep drop in my stomach, but instead, there was nothing. In January, before my spring semester started, I was in a car accident. Doing this will risk putting your loved one on the defensive and potentially push him or her deeper into that relationship. Is your partner very jealous? Dealing with a person in an unhealthy situation is one area where we should be especially cognizant of these issues.
We make mistakes, even in our judgments of people. Emotions, interpretations, and the experience of "love" are not logical. The person you care about may be "erring" in judgment in your opinion, but you've been there too; perhaps in a similar way or many other ways.
So relax a little, and step back with your harsh judgments. We want to protect the people we care about. But we have to let others learn, grow, and make mistakes on their own. As difficult as it may be to watch, it's their lesson to learn.
It's their life and journey, not yours. If you love and care about someone, respect their choices, even if you don't agree with them.
6 Pieces Of Relationship Advice I Would Give You If We Were Friends - The Frisky
Voice your concerns in a reasonable way. Be wary of making this person feel attacked. Have an honest conversation about your concerns, opinions, and observations. Resist the temptation to exaggerate or impose your feelings on their relationship. It should be a logical conversation based on facts.
One conversation is more than enough. A million repetitive statements will do nothing other than belittle and alienate the person you care about. It's important to avoid attacking their significant other. Doing this will risk putting your loved one on the defensive and potentially push him or her deeper into that relationship.
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You might not like him or her, but you have to accept and tolerate that person. If you really care about someone, then your personal relationship with that person should be prioritized above your dislike of their partner or their relationship. After all, that could end tomorrow. You were there before, and you'll be there click after.
You could be their lifeline back to sanity, so don't cut the rope. When they do get hurt or heartbroken or taken advantage of, refrain from saying "I told you so" or "See what I mean? As angry as you may feel in that moment, be the calm confidante that your loved one needs. If you see unhealthy patterns continuing from relationship to relationship, it's OK to point that out gently and make further suggestions like therapyto encourage them to get to the root of the problem.
But it's about timing and delivery.
Most importantly, make sure the person in question knows that your love is unconditional, and you will love them despite the mistakes they make. That is what real love is all about, and that is beautiful. Already have an account? We will never publish anything on your social feed without your explicit permission.
September 2, — Signs your loved one is in an unhealthy relationship: The person has changed into the worse possible version of themselves. They've lost their spark. They have disconnected from the very people and things that used to make them happy.
More often than not, they have emotionally shifted to being a lot angrier, more irritable, moody and unpleasant than you've ever seen. They are ridden with anxiety, depression, or withdrawal.
They then might feel reinforced that the situation is their fault. Please enjoy after the jump! Being sweet the morning after being hateful, isn't romantic. The winters in Maine are known for being harsh and horrific. I just had to say it.
Reasons this might happen: It may just not be a good fit. Recognize their right to make their own mistakes.