The Dating Den - When Do I Tell Someone I’m Dating That I Have Herpes?
Dating someone who has herpes (HSV2)
question is should I knowingly go into a relationship with a girl who has Herpes , and will, in all likelihood, give it to me? I'm looking both for advice on what to do, as well as anecdotes on life with, or dating someone with Herpes. If you want to share, but it's too private, email firstname.lastname@example.org HSV can be passed on when one person has the herpes virus present on the skin and another person makes direct skin-to-skin contact with live herpes virus. .. Research to date shows that people with normal immune systems who are on oral antivirals for a long period do not develop virus resistance or clinical. 14 Apr Find out what it's like to date with genital herpes from this woman who's breaking the STD stigma one disclosure at a time. WHEN I LOOKED UP the statistics on how common genital herpes is, the math didn't add up: If one in six people had it, how was I the only person I knew to do the ultimate walk of.
WebMD archives content after 2 years to ensure our readers can easily find the link timely content. To find the most current information, please enter your topic of interest into our search box. I had barely finished my first semester of college when I found out I had herpes. A high school friend and I wound up taking our friendship a little further, and 20 seconds into the act that would change my life forever, he stopped.
My friend said I was too much like a sister, and he couldn't continue. I worried about how that incident would affect our friendship.
Little did I know my worries would extend far beyond that concern. Less than a week later, I found myself in excruciating pain. It hurt to walk, and I couldn't use soap anywhere near my genital area. I knew enough about sexually transmitted diseases to know that I had herpesbut I didn't know exactly what to do. As I sat in the college health center waiting to see a doctor, I watched my very What To Do When Dating Someone With Herpes social life drift by.
I was thinking that I'd probably never go on another date, or get a boyfriend for that matter, and I'd certainly never have sex again. The nurse who examined me revealed that she had herpes and said it was no big deal.
She had been free of outbreaks for 12 years, and the same might be the case for me, she said. Genital herpes is a contagious viral infection that remains permanently in the nerve cells.
Many people are unaware they have it, because they don't experience symptoms or because they attribute the symptoms to something else. During an outbreak, blisters or sores appear on or around the genital area. Some people never experience a second outbreak. When I confronted my friend about the situation, I asked if he knew that he had herpes.
Years later, I've come to the realization that he knew he had herpes, and that is the reason he stopped in the midst of our sexual adventure. Our friendship, unfortunately, ended as quickly as the act. It was hard enough to face the fact that we'd had sexor tried to, and it was much harder to cope with the fact that I had caught an incurable sexually transmitted disease.
Inwhen I got herpes, the nurse told me I couldn't transmit the virus unless I was having an outbreak. At the time, many doctors and other health What To Do When Dating Someone With Herpes providers believed this to be the case, although a number of research studies had already suggested otherwise. So, I decided to keep quiet. For three years, I had a boyfriend who never knew I had herpes.
Dating With Genital Herpes
Each time I had an outbreak, which for me consisted of a very small cluster of blisters that lasted two or three days, I'd pretend I had a yeast infection and say I couldn't have sex until it was gone. By the time I finished college inthe possibility of spreading the virus even when you didn't have an outbreak had become more widely accepted by health care providers.
Also, you aren't necessarily doomed to get herpes from her. HSV-2 infection is usually passed on during vaginal or anal sex. You sound like you want to condemn her to a loveless existence. It might not be her fault that she got it.
I was still uncomfortable about bringing up the subject, but now I didn't have much of a choice. I didn't date for awhile, but inevitably, I met someone. I held off on sex for as long as I could, but it got more and more difficult.
One day, my new beau reassured me, "I'm disease-free, I just got tested. You have nothing to worry about. I appreciated his honesty and knew I had to tell him that he was the one who had something to worry about.
Soon, my secret was out. I explained that I had herpes, and that was why I was being so cautious. I told him that to my knowledge I had never spread the virus to anyone else, and that I was very careful.
I had always insisted on using condomswhich can reduce the risk of transmission. My selling point, however, was telling him that approximately one in four people has herpes and, statistically speaking, he undoubtedly had slept with someone who had herpes.
He said he would know if he had been with someone who had herpes. He thought about that for a minute and then realized he might not know.
In the end, instead of rejecting me, he chose to continue our relationship. But after we had sex, he would always wash see more like a doctor scrubbing down for an operation. I could hardly blame him, but it wreaked havoc on my self-esteem.
Since he was disease-free, he refused to wear condomsinstead choosing the scrub-down -- something that would do nothing to prevent herpes transmission. That relationship eventually came to an end, leaving me worried yet again about getting back in the click here game. Then, while surfing the Web for information on the latest herpes medicationI stumbled across a web site for What To Do When Dating Someone With Herpes with herpes.
There are dozens of web sites that provide online support and information for people with herpes. Many feature chat rooms, bulletin boards, treatment information, personal ads, and social groups around the world.
A friend of mine had recently married a guy she met on the Web -- proving that not every Internet date is a psycho -- so I gave it a try. I met dozens of electronic pen pals What To Do When Dating Someone With Herpes eventually went on several dates.
It was a learn more here not to worry about when to bring up my medical history, and to bond with a guy over asymptomatic shedding instead of having to explain it. The whole experience made me more comfortable with the fact that I have herpes and gave me the confidence to begin dating again. It was as if I had just re-entered mainstream society.
Not everyone with herpes has to date someone infected with the virus to find true love, but in my case, it worked. Eventually, I met a man online who lived only three miles from me. We discovered we had numerous mutual friends.
Given the circumstances, it was surprising that we hooked up on the Web and not at a neighborhood barbecue. Soon we will be married, and more than family members and friends are invited to join our celebration.
Most have no idea how we really met, but it's not important. Herpes brought us together, but it's the love, laughter, and good times that keep us close. The Diagnosis As I sat in the college health center waiting to see a doctor, I watched my very short-lived social life drift by. The nurse taught me how to manage the virus, but managing my personal life was another story. The Encounter When I confronted my friend about the situation, I asked if he knew that he had herpes.
June 8, So to point to this as the reason for refusing to expose yourself to risk of infection is disingenuous at best, and self-deluding at worst. These people are the exception, not the rule.
Continued The Silent Approach Inwhen I got herpes, the nurse told me I couldn't transmit the virus unless I was having an outbreak. Telling All I held off on sex for as long as I could, but it got more and more difficult.
Continued Finding Help and Support There are dozens of web sites that provide online support and information for people with herpes. Right Online Eventually, I met a man online who lived only three miles from me. Ann Smith is a pseudonym for a journalist living in California.