Managing Passive Aggressive Behavior Terri Cole Real Love Revolution
Understanding Passive-Aggressive Behavior
Although dealing with passive-aggressive behavior can drive you over the edge, these behaviors are often an effective way for the person to mask anger and hostility. According to psychologists at NYU Langone Medical Center, passive- aggressive people may appear to act or comply appropriately, but passively resist. 28 Jul How to Identify Passive‐Aggressive Behavior. Passive-aggressive behavior is a way of dealing with conflict without really dealing with it, and it can damage relationships. Passive-aggressive people tend to seem agreeable at first, but l. 7 Jul Learn more about how passive-aggressive behavior can develop with friends and loved ones, how to spot it, and how to find ways to defuse it with honesty.
And why is it so hard to identify passive-aggressive behavior in co-workers and partners? People who have passive-aggressive traits suppress their angry responses because they fear conflict, and the anger comes out in other, more passive ways. Or maybe Jeff is furious with his boss, but instead of standing up to him, he forgets to mail the bills, and the business gets a bunch of late fees.
Because we are often unaware we are being passive-aggressive, it is difficult to stop behaving this way — even when we hate the results. We like to give people the benefit of the doubt or think positively. So, when someone we are connected with breaks a promise, is always late or never follows through, we make excuses for them.
Dealing With Passive Aggressive People
It makes the person who is not passive-aggressive crazy. They will question whether they are being unfair. Maybe they are being unreasonable expecting Margaret to be on time when she lives 30 minutes away. This cycle eats into the fabric click the relationship, undermining any positive feelings and undermining trust.
One of the most poisonous aspects of passive-aggressive behavior is the person who is not being passive-aggressive becomes overwhelmed by strong emotions. This results in them feeling exhausted before they even realize that there is a passive-aggressive dynamic at play. Often the person who is being passive-aggressive wants the other person to get angry, yell and scream as then that person will be identified as being the problem.
How to Identify Passive-Aggressive Behavior | Our Everyday Life
Do what you can to diffuse your anger and step back from the cycle. It takes two people to play this game. If there is a specific way you want something done, make sure you tell the person.
When your own Mother refuses to call and your own sister goes to cops with lies criminal charges. Post Comment Your name. Yes, I read the article. I am so glad I came across this. But you can get clues to whether this person is a healthy communicator or passive-aggressive by observing how he or she treats others, especially past partners or authority figures like parents or bosses.
Be clear about the consequences for not meeting expectations. This will stop you from enabling this cycle by either taking responsibility because you can no longer wait or by engaging in another endless row.
Apologize for these and change your behavior.
I never knew the technical terminology, but it fits a lot of the personalities that I had to deal with on a daily basis to a tee. While many people use sarcasm as a form of humor, someone who is constantly sarcastic might be masking the fact that he has trouble articulating how he actually feels. There are many communication skills and strategies you can use to deal with a passive aggressive individual. While a lot of what you say here is click, I feel you are being very simplistic in your analysis of why someone acts in passive-aggressive ways and what to do about it. They also frequently have:.
Be clear about the things that are important to you and make it easy for your partner to remember. They are source of the impact of their behavior on others and can be hypersensitive to criticism.
If you have been trying to deal with this and find you are not getting anywhere, a relationship therapist or an intimacy coach can be very helpful. This guest article originally appeared on YourTango. Find help or get online counseling right now! About the Blog Archives. Related Content from Our Sponsors. Retrieved on February 15,from https: Hot Topics Today 1.
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How to Spot and Defuse Passive-Aggressive Behavior | HealthCentral