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How to Marry the Right Person. Finding Miss or Mr. Right is not always an easy thing to do. Once you think you have found the right person, you may have doubts. Having doubts about who you are marrying is not only normal, but healthy. Hopefully you already know that you should not marry someone who drinks too much. 29 Oct experts say you can protect yourself from that fate if you evaluate your relationship pre-engagement according to a few important elements. "There absolutely are ways to judge if a man is marriage-worthy and reduce the chances you'll pick the wrong partner," says marriage and family therapist Terri Orbuch. 9 Jun How to Choose the Right Man to Marry. Choosing a life partner is a big decision and not one to take lightly. When choosing a man to marry, ask yourself lots of questions and evaluate what you want. Know your own role and responsibilities.

Lately, it seems like you can't open your Web browser without seeing some headline about a famous married couple calling it quits. And while it's no surprise when Charlie Sheen's latest union implodes, you'd think that super-together stars like Sandra Bullock and Kate Winslet would be able to pick winners.

How is it that a woman can pledge eternal love in front of all her family and friends and then discover that she's mistaken about the man? In a recent Cosmo survey, nearly two-thirds of you reported being worried about Finding The Right Guy To Marry a bad choice and winding up divorced. But experts say you can protect yourself from that fate if you evaluate your relationship pre-engagement according to a few important elements. Is there a chapter of your boyfriend's history that bothers you because it so doesn't sound like the guy you know?

Did I Marry the Right Person?

Then you need to decide if your relationship click here survive a repeat, because odds are good that old habits will return. If his relationship history is a sordid tale of flings and bitter exes, it's tempting to think that you're the one woman fabulous enough to reform him.

That said, people can change — many of today's family guys wearing Baby Bjorns at the farmers market were serious players at But here's where it gets tricky: You need to figure out if the sleazeball chapter of his past was specific to that stage of his life or if the traits he exhibited then are hardwired into his personality and just buried for now.

If he's done things in the past that don't meet your standards for marriage, grab the bull by the horns and bring it up.

Imago Theory

Ask him to explain why he did what he did. If the reasons he gives are related to specific situations that no longer apply say, he used to party too much because he lived with a bunch of his frat brothers after collegethat's a strong sign that it was just a temporary thing. But if the triggers for his past bad actions could easily be present again once you're married — he used to party too much because he was stressed — it might mean that those habits are part of who he will always be. So you love that your guy is a foodie or a stylish dresser.

That's all great, as long as you're not so dazzled by those qualities that you link the fact that he's lacking more important ones.

This doesn't sound like a guy who wants to be married to you, and you deserve better treatment. What does this mean? Give the guy a break. You have been together for a long time, and in that time he has helped you a lot, including career issues. This is the complete opposite of unhealthy relationships, which usually start out with a grand here show that quickly simmers into ash.

You should look for a partner who has all the inner-circle qualities and a few of the outer ones, not the other way around. As you look over his qualities, consider whether they have downsides and if you can handle them.

For instance, you might love that he has a hot career as a consultant, but if his job requires lots of travel, will his success compensate here his absence from your life? If you have a huge group of friends, it might not be an issue, but if you're a homebody who prefers to end each day snuggled on the couch with your honey, you won't be happy with a marriage in which he is always traveling.

Will you feel just as lucky to have him if student-loan bills are the only concrete result of that degree?

When you first meet someone, you want to spend every minute of every day with him. My eyes always on high alert like I was searching for an extinct bird. When you think about your partner, consider what items you want to connect on.

You need to be okay with the possibility that the rest of the world won't be as convinced of his talents as you are. And if money worries are driving your quest for a ring, slam on the breaks.

Finding The Right Guy To Marry

According to Gauvain, the desire for financial security is one of the main reasons women get hitched to the wrong guy. Adds Lombardo, "But there are plenty of wealthy couples who aren't happy. Depending on how close he is to his family, it's not just him you're marrying. And while you might be able to ignore them nowhis family will play a big role in your life once you're hitched.

Remember that these people will be not be just at your wedding but also at roughly half Finding The Right Guy To Marry future holidays, at the hospital when your children are born, and quite possibly on your sofa for extended visits. This doesn't mean you have to rule him out, but you do need to talk about it and find a compromise. If he has his family on a pedestal when the only raised platform they belong on is Dr. Phil's stage, that could be a problem.

With all this talk of shared values, don't forget this primal truth: There needs to be a sizzle.

Finding The Right Guy To Marry

Of course, if you've been together for years, you're not necessarily pinning each other down the minute you get in the door. But the urge to rip off each other's clothes should still strike on occasion. Whether your number is based on beating your biological clock or more random factors, like how old your sister was when she got hitched, it can hold power over you and put you at a high risk of marrying the wrong guy as that birthday draws close.

Almost Right," says Gauvain. If your answer isn't a strong "Hell, yes! If a desire to have kids is freaking you out, know that the traditional marriage sequence has gone the way of the VCR.

Now, few people bat an eye if you get knocked up by a BF or have a baby solo. How do you tell if your jitters are just a fleeting thing or your intuition trying to tell you you're making a mistake? Pay attention to when your anxiety strikes — is it during wedding talk or when you're talking about him?

If you're not sure that you had one, you didn't," she adds.

One thing for sure: love is definitely not all you need

A recent study found that couples who laugh and smile here they retell how they met are statistically way less likely to end up divorced. Type keyword s to search. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below. James Westman, Studio D. Are My Labia Normal? This Kindergartener Just Reinvented the Valentine.

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