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Jokes For Your Next Mammogram

9 Jul How to Prepare for a Mammogram (Hilarious!) Shashi, This joke is so funny. A friend told me this joke at work last year. Well, last summer, as I was preparing for the hysterectomy I was a nervous wreck. I went for a pre-admission mamogram and everytime the technician would tell me to hold my breath and. PREPARING FOR YOUR MAMMOGRAM. Best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in your home! EXERCISE ONE Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time. 26 Oct So I was delighted last year — just before my annual mammogram date — when a friend sent me this very funny essay called “How To Prepare for Your Mammogram.” Most guys won't get this, but any woman who has ever suffered through a mammogram will truly LOL. I've pasted it below. Take it with you.

For years and years they told me, Be careful of your breasts.

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Don't ever squeeze or bruise them. And give them monthly tests.

How To Prepare For A Mammogram Joke

So I heeded all their warnings, And protected them by law. Guarded them very carefully, And I always wore my bra. After 30 years of astute care, My gyno, Dr.

How To Prepare For A Mammogram Joke

Pruitt, Said I should get a Mammogram. K," I said, "let's do it. Right there, that's fine.

Ladies, that was one of the scariest experiences I have ever had, almost more so than my surgery, because of the potential for cancer. You deserve a second opinion. I kept wanting to ask if they'd struck oil yet. There was a machine which drilled the "straw" down to the area in question.

A plastic plate came slamming down, My hooter's in a vice! My skin was stretched and mangled, From underneath my chin.

How to Prepare for a Mammogram (Hilarious!) | Friends Without Faces | HysterSisters

My poor boob was being squashed, To Swedish Pancake thin. Excruciating pain I felt, Within it's vice-like grip.

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A prisoner in this vicious thing, My poor defenseless tit! My chest is mashed in her machine, And woozy I am getting. It squeezed me from both up and down, It squeezed me from both sides. Next time that they make me do this, I will request a blindfold.

Hysterectomy News Clinical Trials Newsletter. Thank God, the results of the biopsy were negative. A friend told me this joke at work last year.

I have no wish to see again, My knockers getting steamrolled. If I had no problem when I came in, I surely have one now. If there had been a cyst in there, It would have gone "ker-pow!